Think of this as a more controlled version of my “Not So Random” note series…this blog is way past due, but as the cliché goes…better late than having to die with all of this hate in my heart.
1. Half of You Don’t Know WTF You’re Talking About
How I look when I read some of the shit y'all relationship bloggers type.
Granted, you could say that about anything most people write about these days. The advent of the internet has made it easier than ever for idiots to spout their idiocy to anybody who has time to waste is interested in reading it.
Ben Parker said “with great power comes great responsibility.” It’s obvious some of y’all can’t handle said responsibility. Just because you CAN type about relationships, doesn’t mean you should. If you’re the person people NEVER ask for relationship advice, why do you think you’re qualified to speak on them?
2. No Ideas Original
There’s so many of you motherfuckers writing the same goddamned relationship advice. With the exception of perhaps two people I can think of, the genre of relationship blogging is cluttered with tired ideas and blasé writing.
It’s to the point where I can read the title of a post and automatically think of 65 similar articles that have very little to differentiate one from the other.
If you’re going to talk relationships, pick a different angle. Write it from a different perspective. I don’t think it fair to ask you to reinvent the wheel, but damn, at least re-invent the way you tell the story.
3. Stop Deifying These People
Women (as they tend to make up the majority of relationship blog readers) seem to be very appreciative of the things these blogs are saying. I suppose that’s ok. With that said, stop putting these relationship blog niggas on a pedestal. They are just ordinary people.
#NoJohnLegend
And to keep it all the way funky, most of them cats look like stir-fried shit. No swag, no game, no nothing lames giving you directions on how to get and keep a man. I don’t take advice from Gabby Sidibe on how to get fit and watch my cholesterol. Not that ugly people can’t be in relationships, but why take general advice from someone who probably doesn’t have the experience to back it up?
4. There Is No ‘One Size Fits All’ Option
This is direct to the “all men do this, react to this, we all feel this type of way because of some random bullshit I just said” posts.
Look, I understand the need for speaking in general terms to maximize the amount of people who will read the material…but bro. We aren’t the same. We don’t do the same things. We don’t think the same way.
That’s not even the issue; the issue is when I’m talking to women who believe that whatever is written is applicable to all men. Everywhere. It’s not. And it’s stupid to think so. Can you get a baseline understanding of the opposite sex and then draw your own conclusions afterward?
Yes.
That’s what we do when we take advice from ANYBODY regarding almost anything with respect to interpersonal relationships. However, please leave room for flexibility. Relationship blogs cannot possibly cover every nuance of human behavior. It will not be of any benefit to try and take EVERY generally applicable advice read…and cram that shit into your specific circumstance.
5. Fuck Steve Harvey
Relationship blogs are popular. Very popular. My Twitter feed at any given moment is full of relationship talk. Men vs. Women. Women vs. Men. Round and round, up and down, front to back, side to side. (That sounded a lot like sex didn’t it?)
I’m sure the amount of attention paid to relationships isn’t anything new. My limited memory and penchant for only focusing only on what I can remember, however, sees Steve Harvey as the
I really don't like this motherfucker...
proverbial straw on the camel’s back.
I blame him, his creepy child molesting mustache, and spray painted lacefront. Think about it. Women are really taking advice from a 3-time divorcee on how to get and keep a man.
Word?
If some of you spent as much time reading self-help books as you spent reading relationship blogs, y’all might actually be in that relationship you spend so much time thinking about.
Imagine that.
I can’t be alone in this thinking. What are some of the things you guys hate about relationship blogs and bloggers? Hit the comment box and let me know.
Peace.
Swag
January 19, 2012
I’m cthu at this post!!! U sound very bitter and upset. Did you apply an advice that backfired or are you mad you’re not on a pedestal….? See it like this, maybe #1 and 2 are your top reasons why women don’t cling to your advice.. Until then. Stay mad.
Deuces.
The Analyst
January 19, 2012
While I’m not laughing at your response, I am quite amused at the position you’ve taken on it. Be that as it may, sounds like you write relationship blogs and you take offense to what I’ve written. It’s cool. Shit happens.
Swag
January 19, 2012
there’s no need to feign an amused position especially after painstakingly detailing your grievances with men that women uncontrollably gravitate to. Unlike you, I am far less occupied with what people write online to take offence or worse still rant like a wompy bitch online for women to loan me their ears. Be that as it may, your post is nonetheless amusing, ironic that blogs and what people say sip into your personal life and actually get you upset. Aww
The Analyst
January 19, 2012
Cool story, bro.
Lady Ngo
January 19, 2012
LMAO, this made me giggle. *You are not alone.* I don’t hate relationship blog(ger)s though, some of my fave blogs are about relationships. I did however have to take a moment and step back and realize that they are in fact just blogs, written by averages joes and josephines like myself because sometimes i read and i’m just like WTF are you talking about, WDDDA, etc- especially at the comments.
Most of the r-ship blogs (the ones i follow anyway) have calmed down substantially since i’ve been part of the blogging world though so its a rarity that my feathers are riled or i’m put off by anything anymore. And despite the “no idea’s original” ideology, there often are a lot of poignant points made and if nothing else, a glimpse into how some people think.
jwoodny
January 19, 2012
“The genre of relationship blogging is cluttered with tired ideas and blasé writing.”
^^^ Pretty much…but in my experience (just based off the sites I read regularly), there’s more guys writing about relationships and specific nuances of it than women…the women writing about relationships seem to be minimized to their personal blog…b/c of 1 inflammatory of controversial piece, their personal blog takes on the title of a relationship blog
The Analyst
January 23, 2012
I’m aware of that, and I think it’s because those men know relationship writing drives site traffic. And that’s all some people care about. There’s also a subtle irony that men are often accused of not caring about relationships…but seem to make up the majority of people writing about relationships.
Britt.Britt
January 19, 2012
The thing about relationships is that no one but those involved can define it, so to attempt to take someone’s advice that doesn’t know you and apply it to your situation is ridiculous. Men & women. I just hate that it’s either bitterness or extreme happiness. No one talks about the in-between. The days where nothing happens, the small fights, the petty things, the dates, etc., just the extremes
The Analyst
January 23, 2012
That’s pretty much what I was speaking on in #4. I know women out there who take that shit as gospel and try to do things by the letter of the “law” from these blogs…and end up failing terribly. The thing about advice is, it lets people off the hook. You gotta let people make up their own mind…and it seem like people take these general ass ideas and then apply is as if relationships aren’t nuanced and they’re all by the book. When they’re not.
madscientist7
January 20, 2012
i can’t say i disagree with anything you wrote here. i’ve been around the blog scene for a minute now and i’ve watched the relationship blog niche blow up and now i’m really over it. like you said most relationship bloggers are single (or they choose not to divulge their real relationship status) so why would women take advice from men like that as gospel is beyond me. i’ve resigned myself to lurker status on blogs that i do so happen to read all the way through.
uncivilservant
January 20, 2012
I feel u on the Steve Harvey bit… But that’s what its all about thou, people just want someone to lead them in the right direction so they take everything and combine and mix and hope it works..
Dude, lot of hopeless people out there, most especially we women.. A single woman in her 30s that is soo eager to find the right man and have some babies will listen to what any damn person has to say in hopes that it will help her find Mr, too damn good.
Nothing, u and I can do about it..
Lovely article, you and fooler keep me rolling here in Lagos, Nigeriam
fourpageletter
January 20, 2012
hmm.
i get where you were coming from, but…not quite sure what to surmise from this post.
personal blogs are written from ones personal standpoint. and while we like to think of ourselves as truly unique, the experiences many of us face are identical. and not everyone who writes a blog is a blogger. i am a chick who likes to write blog posts. i do not consider myself a blogger. that is a profession to me with a goal in mind. so that being said, since i dont have the professional tools or aspirations, it might be harder for some one like myself to really put a different twist on things. no topic i ever plan on writing about will ever be 100% authentic to me, because i am a product of my environment and an influenced and inspired by those around me.
what you consider a waste of time, may be a way to pass time to another. you have absolutely no way of knowing what is going to inspire someone. i wrote a post about finally letting go a dude, and the reaction to it was so beyond amazing and humbling. to the girl who needed to see the words written for it to become crystal to her, to the dude who decided to create his own little e-space in the world. i by no means am a relationship blogger. nor do i write a relationship blog. nor do i give advice on how to be/live. just like to offer some words of wisdom based on my experience.
as for the placing male bloggers on a pedistal – it’s very simple. most of these men write from a male perspective. one that is valuable to women because we dont know how to think like you, understand your line of thinking on certain issues. and not all of us are blessed enough to have male friends in our lives who will give us the same kind of straight goods that is being sold. what i did learn is that i have to take it all with a grain of salt, because the motivations behind a published post are varied. and at the end of the day, these people dont know me, nor have my best interest at heart.
at the end of the day, people will choose to do, read and follow what they need to, until they don’t.