Ladies, before you get your panties in a bunch, I promise this isn’t really directed toward you. I’m actually talking to the men.
Men, something we’re all aware of…women talk.
Alot.
Amongst the things women tend to discuss is sex
A chief complaint I hear from women who are/were in relationships, with respect to sex, is that it isn’t as fulfilling as they’d like it to be. Now, I’m of the mind that sex isn’t terribly difficult. It can actually be summed in 3 simple steps.
- Get an erection.
- Sheath your erection.
- Hold your breath, pump for 5 minutes and *splash*
I was puzzled as to how so many women in relationships went without good sex until I had a conversation with a close homie of mine.
We were discussing his philandering with other women. I was trying to make sense of it. He told me all the nasty, dirty, disgusting, (read: totally fucking awesome) things his side chicks were willing to do during sex and it got me wondering…
Homie: Yeah, so she took the whole joint in her face, then licked her fingers and smiled.
My face during this entire conversation.
Me: You need to pass me her number…but I don’t get it. If you got a girl, why don’t you just get her to do it?
Homie: Nah son. That’s wifey.
Me: I know…so she not going? (Chicago slang. Going = her being willing)
Homie: Nigga, I’m not finna pop my wifey like she a jump-off.
Me: I’m confused. Are you saying you DON’T want your girl to do that?
Homie: No. She got the title bruh, you don’t let wifey do stuff like that.
Me: That’s the most ridiculous shit I’ve ever heard in my life.
I’m not an expert but I do know if a woman likes you there’s very little she won’t do for you sexually. A good deal of the female population tend to wait until they get in a relationship so they can do shit that would get you arrested in most states.
Part of the reason why SOME women seek the security of relationships (and this is just a wild guess) is so they can have sex without being labeled. Relationship sex means anything you do with that person gets you a “get out of judgment free” card.
Simply stated, any vile, disgusting, sexually deviant act can simply be precluded with “that was my man though.” Using those magic words to preface whatever sexual atrocity you just committed will be met with “that’s right girl you gotta do what you gotta do for your man” as opposed “damn, you’se a dirty ass slut.”
Men are cheating on their women for new sexual experiences when they have a personal “you can do whatever you want to me” girlfriend sitting at home. This is beyond confusing to me. For whatever reason, some men, for lack of a better phrase, keep putting the pussy on a pedestal.
Yeah she’s your wifey, but she also wants to be smanged like a jump-off. She WANTS you to choke her. She WANTS you to call her dirty names. She WANTS you to smack her on the ass and pull her hair. She WANTS to you push her up against the wall like the French guy did to that white woman in Unfaithful and hit it in the restaurant while she’s with her friends at lunch.
Bad sex leads to cheating. See?
The fact that you’re NOT doing that…is basically a violation of your boyfriend duties. Don’t rob your girl of that son. Smut her out. She’ll thank you for it.
And in case you think I’m lying, I’ve done the research (on Twitter, where else?) and women have confirmed everything I just typed. One woman even said to me “respect me? During sex? I want to be fucked. Not respected.”
I’m not really sure where men got the idea that women weren’t trying to get pile-driven into oblivion while in a relationship, but you guys are out here losing. You thinking it’s all good and she’s like “yeah!” to your face…and really thinking about how Jerome piped her down decent the previous night much she loves you.
Y’all just gotta do better.
But I want to hear from you.
Men, if you don’t like to participate in these type of actions with your woman hit the comment box and let me know why.
Ladies, if you have any personal stories you’d like to share, that are related to this topic in any way, I’d encourage you to share them as well.
Each one, teach one. I just want everybody to get laid.
Peace.
Chuk
December 19, 2011
True..Herschelwood Bussdown and Philly Gang rape videos on the net confirm all this. Women want to be lil smuts. Especially in 2012.
The Analyst
December 20, 2011
It’s only 2011…and I’m not sure that whole “gang rape” angle was what I was going for…but I do think women want to be able to slut it up for their man free of judgment…and their boyfriends are impeding them from being great.
max
December 19, 2011
And all God’s people said AMEN!
The Analyst
December 20, 2011
And the church said tabernacle *waves church fan*
keishabrown
December 19, 2011
there couldn’t be anymore truth written. anywhere. in all of the internets.
aka: i agree.
The Analyst
December 20, 2011
Sing that shit from the mountaintop girl. They don’t hear you ^_^
For_The_Masses (@For_The_Masses)
December 20, 2011
This post is full of facts. Roll the credits, you did your thang!
The Analyst
December 20, 2011
Thank you. I appreciate that.
Jessica Rabbit
December 20, 2011
You hit the nail on the head. All I wanted was some steamy sex from the man I loved since hs and he looked at me and said “I can’t do the thing I like because I respect you too much” WTF?! While I brainwashed myself to think hey he’s going anal with whores and refusing to let me go down because he sees me as the mother of his kids one day that’s great! But umm Im like a car that needs shot rotated. This is why women cheat be ause we want guilt free whorish sex that hubby won’t give up but Daquan from the hood will dick you down right. Wifey wants whorish sex too…when will men figure this out?
The Analyst
December 20, 2011
“Wifey wants whorish sex too…when will men figure this out?”
I have no idea, but I hope they read this and get it together. If not…well…Daquan gon be working overtime on that box.
trueprototype
December 20, 2011
I asked one guy why he never lets me know he came. Like not a facial expression, an extra hard pump, a grown, nothing. He said he likes to be “cool and silent” before, after and during sex. Let’s just say I let him know we are not compatible.
I think you hit the nail on the head with “the female population tend to wait until they get in a relationship so they can do shit that would get you arrested in most states.” Women seek security and stability… Stable dick that’s not going anywhere and answers when called.
The Analyst
December 20, 2011
You know it’s funny. I don’t make alot of noise during but when I’m ready to finish the act, shit gets so real. I mean…in reality, women don’t wanna hear a nigga doing all that hollering. I think it was probably an issue of comfort in that respect. Or maybe he just ain’t want you to know you was good to him. When that nut come, I be…well…you don’t need to know that lol
madscientist7
December 20, 2011
“She WANTS you to choke her. She WANTS you to call her dirty names. She WANTS you to smack her on the ass and pull her hair.”
this pretty much sums it up. i never got the “i’ll do that with my fwb/jump off but i won’t do that with my girl” mentality. if i have a girl i’m trying to make sure i spoil it for any dude following me. i’m gonna be that guy she’s fantasizing about while rubbing one out. women like sex. they like it hard and they like it rough. they might not come right and say it because a lot of women have been preconditioned to think woman aren’t supposed to come right out and ask for it. yeah my chick won’t have to ask for it. and don’t let me get married. my future wife will be getting smutted all the way out. then i’ll tell her i’ll love her afterwards and kiss her on the lips.
The Analyst
December 20, 2011
I know yo girl stay satisfied. *daps* bravo my dude.
Jamaal C. Wilson (@1_NuttySquirrel)
December 20, 2011
I got some limitations to what I’ll do with my girl, but that’s only because I have a large imagination & some things I find taboo to keeping a healthy relationship. All that normal, everyday type sex stuff though is completely available….. I’ll respect her still after sex, but I’m not really concerned with respect during.
The Analyst
December 20, 2011
I’m not saying you gotta go all bestiality with the woman, but niggas are outchea repressing they girl sexual nature to preserve some ridiculous image. They gotta chill.
Tea
December 20, 2011
this is the truest thing i have read…lol.
Idk y guys fail to realize that the good girl you have at home is finally in a position to be totally free sexually because of the security of the relationship. She loves you and she is dyin to get man-handled, slammed up against the wall, and treated like a prostitute. Not all the time, but sometimes…sometimes she wants to be extra nasty just for YOU!
Why do guys think their girl too good for that… Then eventually she ends up goin to TeeTee’s house, cause he is not scared to tear her draws off, pull her hair, and choke her a**.
Now he’s cheating and she’s cheating. SMH.
Anyway, this is the first time I’ve even seen a man admit this is happening. It always comes up in discussion groups & guys adamantly say, “of course I want a lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets.” No, it appears you want a lady at all times,…and a sidepiece freak. lol
teannhny
December 20, 2011
just read some of the comments #yallnasty lol
The Analyst
December 20, 2011
I just read your first comment…you part of “y’all” too lol
DaniJ
December 21, 2011
He is absolutely right; however, dirty name calling is taking it too far. What if you really think that I am a whore, slut, etc. That may eventually come out, when we are not having sex.
The Analyst
December 21, 2011
…I’m not sure why you’d think that, but if that’s where you wish to draw the line by all means…
jwoodny
December 21, 2011
Followed your blog just off this alone…bravo for the dropped gems
The Analyst
December 21, 2011
*salutes* I appreciate it.
Simone
December 21, 2011
I can agree with this post 100%
These niggas must step it up. I can admit I’ve never had this problem though. My ex’s knew what I expected from the jump. I want that lip biting, rough, dirty, sweaty sex. I think it’s important for women to explain that to their boyfriends/husbands that way they know their expectations.
The Analyst
December 29, 2011
It’s interesting that you’ve never had this problem. I’m still wondering if it’s the guy’s problem that it doesn’t happen or the girl for not voicing it…in this post I’m obviously speaking directly to the guys, however, I’m curious to know how women ended up in these type of situations anyway.
Ajun_Purswayjun
December 22, 2011
This is ssssoooooooo TRUE! I had an ex who would NOT cum from head stating that he “couldnt nut if my girlfriend is giving me head” and he never did while we were 2gether. This led me to believe i wasnt doing it right and needed more practice. As soon as we broke up he came from my head. WTF? I have the mind state that “if I don’t do it some other chick will” but some dudes would rather leave all the extra for the slut buckets *shrugs*
Elli
December 22, 2011
I’ve had a bf say he didn’t want to disrespect me when I asked him to pin my ass against the wall..said he couldn’t turn that mentality off and on, he either thought of me that way or he didn’t…such a shame.
The Analyst
December 29, 2011
It really is a shame. I don’t see why dudes have such a problem giving a woman, THEIR woman, everything she wants to make her happy. Mind boggling.
Coco Lady!
December 23, 2011
I like that you covered it with the “I’m not a ho because he was my man” angle. We women like to have our cake and eat it too, we want to get buck wild and nasty for our men while maintaining our ‘lady’ image. Allowing us to do that not only keeps our female ego in check but our hormones too. Not to mention; good sex to a woman is like a drug, the better it is the more we want it.
pigskinlovinglady
December 29, 2011
You said it all sister!!
Ayana
February 4, 2012
I don’t understand how men want women to love them unconditionally then forget that they are putting “conditions” on our sexual encounters. If I LOVE you, let me SHOW you. Let me lay my inhibitions to the wayside and screw your brains out. Don’t put a cap on what you want me to do sexually but then require I serve you like a King. I can be a lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets. It’s all about keeping things exciting. You’re more likely to cheat on me if I become boring, complacent, & unwilling to explore. Above all else, LOVE without a limit feels good. SEX without a limit feels even better…(just my opinion tho)