A sophisticatedly, ignorant blog rant by yours truly…
RELATIONSHIPS AND SHIT
Learning how to walk away from people is an underrated life lesson. I find that a lot of you people feel obligated to stick around for whatever reason. Something to do with your feelings I guess.
Y’all can have that. Let me know how that works.
How you're probably going to react once you see my student loan bill. You said you wanted us to work right?
While I’m on the subject, I recently got suckered into a conversation about relationships. Girl asked me if I was in a “serious” relationship, would I follow my girl wherever she was moving to. Unless we’re engaged to be married (or you gon take care of my student loans while I’m out of work), I’m not moving nowhere to be with anybody.
Hell, I wouldn’t even suggest moving to be closer to ME unless we were getting married. Y’all can believe in that hopeless romantic shit if you want. This is REAL life and Sallie Mae is not going to stop just because you got tired of carrying the load.
BUT YOU’RE AN ADULT
I’m going to expand on this in a future blog, but I had another interesting conversation about women in regard to them wanting to be “checked” by their men. I understand this whole notion of wanting someone to have definite boundaries and not wanting a pushover as a man.
But, my question is this…why do y’all need another adult to teach you how to behave? You ain’t got the sense God gave you to know “hey…he might actually fuck me up if I don’t chill out, so perhaps I should just…chill out.”
WHERE IS YOUR FATHER?
(Some) men are so emotional. And emotionally weak. And I don’t mean when a man admits he has a problem and goes for help. I mean when a girl pisses you off and you run to Twitter to twit pic an avi of her giving you head. That doesn’t make any damn sense to me. Y’all niggas need fathers.
NATURAL WOMEN…Zzzzzzzzzz
I see a lot of natural women. I know I shouldn’t say this, but I don’t care. There’s a great deal of women walking around being natural because someone gave them permission to wear their hair in its
White man told you your natural hair was beautiful and you went and got a fro. SMMFH
natural state. Society said “black woman, we don’t mind that you wear your hair natural. It actually doesn’t offend us, so you go girl!” and some of y’all followed suit.
I don’t give a fuck how you feel, you can’t tell me different.
I said natural hair was a trend and all you wack chicks jumped on my case.
Fuck y’all.
If it’s a trend, that doesn’t make it a bad thing. It’s just something that’s popular and you followed suit. Fine. Just admit it and move on with your life. Stop trying to tell me you were concerned about the health of your hair. 27 years of perms and all of a sudden you care you don’t have any edges? FOH.
HA HA HA HA WE LUV DEEZ HOES!
(Some…ok a lot of) Men love hoes. I know they will quote various rappers who say “we don’t love them hoes” but they do. It’s the greatest lie ever told.
Men outchea spending up all they extra money on strippers at the strip club. Taking food out of they kid’s mouth to spend it on they side chick. Telling women “it ain’t tricking if you got it.” And most importantly having all these bastard ass kids with no commitment.
But you don’t love these hoes huh?
Lying ass muhfuckas.
Funnily enough, women HATE hoes. This is SO odd to me.
Think of all the actual hoes you know right now. How many of them are in relationships? Married?
Now think of all the “good girls” you know.
How many of them hoes sitting at home listening to Mariah Carey by themselves? Drinking wine in their room, lonely as hell. They’re surrounded by all of their degrees, accomplishments, and the accoutrements of educated living. Silently whispering to themselves, while a single tear rolls down their lonely ass cheeks, “you go girl.”
Not to say women should start being hoes…just letting you know that looking down on women for being hoes while they simultaneously acquire everything the “good girl” wants is stupid. And that (some) men should stop lying so much.
MISCELLANEOUS
Takeover is better than Ether. Go play those two songs again and tell me Nas was kicking heat. If you think so, you’re a damn liar and you’re not welcomed here.
All these ain't hot though...
A lot of Jordan’s shoes are ugly as hell. I’d say like 65% of the collection are shoes I wouldn’t want my worst enemy to adorn. I know that’s blasphemous to you fools who pay all that money and can’t afford your light bill. I’ll let y’all cook freely though. If you come across some Grape V’s, let me know.
Apple getting Blackberry the fuck up out of the cellphone game for good. Just face facts, nobody’s checking for RIM technology bro.
That is all.
Peace.
Jay Howard Gatsby
October 13, 2011
“But, my question is this…why do y’all need another adult to teach you how to behave? You ain’t got the sense God gave you to know “hey…he might actually fuck me up if I don’t chill out, so perhaps I should just…chill out.”
“How many of them hoes sitting at home listening to Mariah Carey by themselves? Drinking wine in their room, lonely as hell. They’re surrounded by all of their degrees, accomplishments, and the accoutrements of educated living. Silently whispering to themselves, while a single tear rolls down their lonely ass cheeks, “you go girl.”
I’m in absolute TEARS behind these quotes. So on point… funny, yet very much pointedly honest. Especially the first part. I just don’t get why women do their very best to piss us off or want us to check them, then either get mad when we DO react, or have something to say about it. Suddenly, it’s not what you wanted anymore, huh? smh
The Analyst
October 13, 2011
I don’t even bother trying to understand the logic women display. I just nod and pretend I’m listening then do what I was gon do anyway. And when they ask you why you wasn’t listening, just apologize and tell em their hair looks nice. Kiss them on the cheek and whatever you was arguing about is null and void.
Joshua Fuller
October 13, 2011
Bro, Ether is better than Takeover.
The Analyst
October 13, 2011
Man…no. Just, no.
Freckles
October 13, 2011
“Hell, I wouldn’t even suggest moving to be closer to ME unless we were getting married. Y’all can believe in that hopeless romantic shit if you want. This is REAL life and Sallie Mae is not going to stop just because you got tired of carrying the load”
I understood “carrying the load” as “getting a job”. Wouldn’t someone who moved want to get a job wherever it is that they end up? Why would moving for someone preclude one from getting a job?
Great post as usual. That Mariah Carey paragraph made me laugh way too uproariously for an office environment.
The Analyst
October 13, 2011
How the question was phrased was obviously if someone is about to move to a new state, they’d have to uproot themselves to follow behind. Given the state of the economy, I didn’t find it a far stretch to say someone might not be able to find a job immediately, hence the reference to someone having to foot the bill for both parties until both parties were on their feet.
Tiffany
October 13, 2011
I’ll say this about women with natural hair. I’ve been natural for 7 years now, and I see LOTS more women going natural. Back when I went natural, people thought I was militant, afrocentric, rebellious, a vegetarian….you name it, I got it. Nowadays, it’s cool to be natural,imo. It’s popular, and lots of women are more confident because they see others doing it (and somebody probably told them it was ok). They may not admit that, and instead choose to frame it as something else (i.e. I wanted healthy hair).
In re: But you’re an adult. This is what I’ll say: there are commonly accepted standards of behavior. For example, belittling someone, calling them ugly, stupid, etc = not cool. Most people will agree with that. Unless they’re a douche bag.
But every person and relationship is different. People have different communication styles. This isn’t to disagree with what you’re saying, because I think you make a good point. My boyfriend even told me to sometimes just stop and ask myself, “is this ok? maybe I need to chill out/be cool?” This takes a certain level of self-awareness and reflection that may escape some people (men and women!).
But this is to suggest that over and above behavioral norms, there’s nothing wrong with “teaching” someone how to treat you or talk to you (and I use the word teaching very loosely). A man you dealt with in the past may have different boundaries than the one you’re currently dealing with. What pisses one man off may not piss another man off.
And I’m out.
The Analyst
October 18, 2011
Nowadays, it’s cool to be natural,imo. It’s popular, and lots of women are more confident because they see others doing it (and somebody probably told them it was ok). They may not admit that, and instead choose to frame it as something else (i.e. I wanted healthy hair).
^^^And that’s all that I was saying. If it’s trendy and you did it, fine. Just say that. Stop phrasing that shit as something other than what it is.
To the rest of your post…you have a point. I was moreso speaking to people who lack self control and willingly try to run over folks…but I understand your speaking to a much less hostile version of my assertion. And that’s cool.
Me!
October 13, 2011
“Stop trying to tell me you were concerned about the health of your hair. 27 years of perms and all of a sudden you care you don’t have any edges? FOH.”
BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
also: Ether is most definitely better than Takeover. and I LOVE Jay-Z..but yea.
The Analyst
October 13, 2011
No. I’m not arguing. Just, no.
PrettyRoundBrown
October 13, 2011
I personally don’t understand why wearing your hair in it’s natural state it considered a fad or a trend. I think that more ladies started wearing their hair natural because they felt comfortable that people would be more accepting. When I cut my hair and went natural, the first thing my ex-boyfriend said to we was “ewww, why did you cut your hair so short.” My hair is nappy and that doesn’t bother me, but I know numerous women that have felt belittled or whatever because they had “nappy” hair.
The Analyst
October 13, 2011
I personally don’t understand why wearing your hair in it’s natural state it considered a fad or a trend.
Trend – 1. general tendency or direction. 2. fashion; mode
So if everybody was rocking weaves and perms, then all of a sudden people started going natural and it started catching on to the point society took it and ran with it, that would make it a trend. Saying it’s trendy to wear natural hair isn’t an insult. It’s a description of the phenomenon which explains why I can’t ever recall seeing natural hair blogs, sororities, facebook groups and an amazing assortment of natural hair products in a store. That’s what makes it trendy. Is it wrong? No, but call a spade a spade.
NaijaSweetz
October 13, 2011
1. That something is a trend doesn’t mean that everyone doing it just happened to hop on the wagon.
2. “But You’re An Adult” – Enough said.
The Analyst
October 18, 2011
1. I wasn’t implying what you’re asserting. What I’m saying is, there ARE women who are doing it b/c it’s trendy. And they’re rather numerous in numbers. Telling me what I’m saying is ridiculous and expecting me to believe every woman who went natural is doing because they’ve found some deep love and affection for their hair? Nah.
2. More will be said on the subject. Soon.
NaijaSweetz
October 18, 2011
1.That’s what it came across as, though. There’ll likely be some women arguing with you about the supposed trendiness because that’s not how they see it or how they came to carry their hair that way. That said, yes, a lot of people are on that trendy tip. When I went natural, it was because I felt like playing with my hair without feeling on tracks and such.
2. I don’t doubt it, lol.
true2me
October 14, 2011
*cosign*
The Analyst
October 18, 2011
Thanks Trice. ^_^
fourpageletter
October 14, 2011
tell em why you mad son.
The Analyst
October 18, 2011
That’s all I ever do *daps*
ASeason
October 15, 2011
I love hoes…I just don’t pay em
The Analyst
October 18, 2011
Thank you Faizon Love.
Sheana
December 16, 2011
#speakthetruth